Turning 30 was not half as bad as I anticipated for it to be. I have to say, I had a kick ass birthday party on Wayne's boat with some of the very BEST friends a girl could ever ask for. We jumped off the top of the yacht, drank tons of alcohol, flipped the wave runner, and danced until we couldn't dance anymore. It was absolutely perfect. : ) I am so lucky. I live near the ocean and I have great people in my life, what more could a woman want?
Oh, about the whole baby makin' gig... this past months period was the whackest yet. Since I've been off of the pill, my periods have fluctuated from starting every 27-29 days. I am pretty predictable, so I thought. This month I was anticipating on starting Thurs. July 28, that would have been 27 days. On Sat. July 30 I had some spotting on a tampon and thought for sure my period was coming hard core that night. No period. I go to Poppy's 82nd birthday dinner on Sun. night and I wipe and there is red blood. On Mon., still no serious period. I take a test on Mon. a.m. and it says positive. I take another a few minutes later and it says negative. Am I or am I not? Finally I start bleeding on Tues. Aug. 2. It was a long, heavy, clotty period. So who knows if I was or wasn't, but obviously I am no longer. I have to tell you after taking the positive test, I had no feelings what so ever of elation or joy, I felt purely freaked the fuck out. Scared. Like "what the fuck am I gonna do" type feeling. Being that we aren't preventing a pregnancy, I thought my reaction would be different. I guess because if I were pregnant, I felt like something wasn't quite right. So to my satisfaction, no worries, I had a great birthday & great birthday party with alcohol. : ) Having the positive test really made me question whether or not I was ready for such a drastic change in my lifestyle. Being pregnant and being a mother is a sacrifice. This is the first month I have not looked up my ovulation dates on the computer. David and I have just continued on with our "normal" sex life and we will see what happens. When the timing is right, I will get pregnant, if that is in the cards. If it's not in the cards, thank God I have a wonderful husband to fulfill and enhance my life. None of us know when our card will be up. None of us know how many more days we will have on this Earth. All I know is that I will live every one of them like it is my last. Life is a beautiful thing!
