The HEAT is on...

I have never imagined that "trying" to have a baby would be quite this stressful!  I have put a lot of pressure on myself (& David), but mostly on myself, to get knocked up IMMEDIATLY.  I finally had a breakdown on Thursday (Day 1 of "ovulation period").  I realized that my emotions were totally out of control.  After my breakdown, which consisted of crying periodically throughout the day, I finally came to a realization that it is not a big deal if I get pregnant the first month of trying or 5 years from now.  What IS most important, even more important that concieving instantly, is that David and I mantain a healthy relationship.  I can't just jump on him and expect him to perform just because I may be ovulating, that is insane.  Day by day I am getting more leisurely about the whole baby making gig.  I realize that David and I are going to continue to have the same amount of intimacy whether I am ovulating or not.  I am okay with that.  Life is too short, I can not plan my every waking minute and every single day of my life.  I know that we want children, whether I get one in the year 2011 or the year 2013.  I have to step back and take a look at the big picture.  I am so blessed!  Here are the things I need to focus on and be thankful for every single day:
* My husband, I love him more than anything and I wouldn't trade him for the entire world.
* My job, Ella and Mrs. Trask are such a huge part of my life and my happiness.
* My house, I have a roof over my head and air conditioning (thank God!)
* My family & friends, I am one lucky girl to have so many!
* My life, we are not promised tomorrow.  I need to live each day like it is my last.  Do good for others as you would want done for you.

This pretty much sums up where I am right now.  I may write again to tell you that I'm pregnant or I may write again just because I like to.  Until then, don't let the heat burn you up.  : )